4th month....

i havent had the chance to write about my pregnancy in this blog. but i think this is about something that i would like to share with my fwen...yesterday me n hubby went for our routine baby check up. we were so excited because we are going to know the gender of our baby...

and for ur information my baby bum is getting boooolaaatt and bigger hehehhhe...eventhough am only 4 months pregnant...sbb nyer saya suka makan n saya sangat kecik..nampakla saya rendang, tembun dan chomel hahahaha....dan telah di warning oleh doktor supaya kurangkan makan makanan yg berlemak, berminyak, bergula ..nasi kalau boleh kurangkan..bfast nasi lemak, roti canai sila elakkan...no more heavy breakfast...kalau lapar eat something very lite and not so much..saya sudah over weight yer doktor kata... berat sebelum kawen adalah 48kg...sekarang berat saya sudah 60kg sudah meningkat sebanyak 12kg..and saya ader 5 bulan lagi to go..jadi sila lah jaga pemakanan ...takut nnt kena diabetis ...huhuuhuuhuhuuhuuhuu

masa wat ultrasound baby gerak heheheh n doktor said its baby gurl...^_^ ..apa perasaan i? i dont know how to explain it..its like a dejavu...smiling and sangat tak sangka am becoming a mom...motherhood is just around da corner...am having a baby gurl...hubby pun sangat happy eventhough dia sangat berharap its gonna be a boy..baby gurl pun still his baby...alhamdulillah...

so now i can start browsing barang baby gurl lah...wah!! hehehhehe shopping!!! baby will go shopping with bonda and daddy later...haaa mesti korang heran kan naper sorang bonda n sorg daddy...

well i want my children to call me bonda...becoz lain dari yang lain n i penah dengar this one particular teacher's son masa i jadi guru ganti kat padang tembak panggil mak dia bonda...n i jatuh cinta...sooooo cweeeeeeeeeetttttttt...n i berazam wanted my children to kol me bonda jugak..well for my husband dia suka daddy rasa macam glamour sket ...nak letak ayahnda panjang sangat kata nyer hahahhaa....rasa mcm keturunan diraja plak...maka daddy la..chomel kan...hahhha aku sumer nyer comel..

untuk tatapan my fwens i attached here da picture of new preggy me with baby in da making..^_^ ...






booolat kan saya..hubby kata am a beautiful monster...his lovely comeiii comeeiii wife hahahhaa...yela baru 4 bulan chomel la kan...and its our first baby ...haaa tgkla nnt2 kalau dh nak masuk 2,3...beautiful moster lagi ker? hahahahaha....lawak...

Precious present moment...

Wah!!! i have f orgotten about this blog....haven't updated anything since got hitched...wuts new about me?
well as all of u guys know..i am now married my solemnization ceremony was held on 2nd January 2011 and luckily i ve got pregnant (bunting pelamin) ..alhamdulillah and just finished celebrating my wedding reception on 13 March 2011 together with our precious little 3 months baby in a making...^_^

Everything was so fast...but am glad that i have a really great, awesome hubby who loves me so much..and is soo caring ..saya sangat dimanjakan n i am glad that we found each other...

Frankly speaking it is not easy to cope with this new situation..because am doing my intership at JPW, still have to attend 2 more classes for this sem...preparing to proceed with my project paper...experiencing all the sickness during pregnancy...trying to becoming a good wife for my hubby...so many things to do.....and i am in a very fragile state of emotion most of the time..OMG!!..it is not easy right....hahahaha..

Victim here surely la my hubby..kesian dia...selalu kena buli dengan i...luckily he is very patience, very calm...and will always be there for me...ALHAMDULILLAH...well about the baby in da bun...went for check up yesterday..i saw the baby heart beat during scanning...and the baby moves.....its a miracle and it is our precious little life blooming inside me...cant wait to know the gender of the baby...

Hubby wants baby boy and wanted to name him RAYYAN hahahha..and for me...i dont mind whether it is a boy or gurl because u are my precious little one..and BONDA love u so much...eventhough u are making me experiencing me such difficulties to adjust myself with this whole new thing...am glad that i am not alone..i have you...and DADDY by my side....and i am happy....YA ALLAH ya tuhanku aku bersyukur ke atas rahmat yang kau berikan padaku...ALHAMDULILLAH...

Getting married

Hey guys....

how's life? ^_^ hope u guys r doing great.....me? well am doing just fine and busy preparing for my solemnization events dis coming January...well again its like a dream sbb we only decided to nikah rite after we went for our kursus nikah on 4 & 5 december 2010 at Masjid TTDI...so we like have less then 1 monts to prepare for it hehehhee...lepas pegi kursus semangat nak kawen...

its a good sign right..alhamdulillah jodoh kami dh sampai mudah-mudahan ALLAH akan permudahkan perjalanan persediaan pernikahan kami hendak nya...AMIN...

Me & my fiance decided untuk bernikah pada 2nd January 2011 pada jam 11 pagi di masjid berhampiran dengan rumah ayahnda saya...alhamdulillah jurunikah dh dimaklumkan..and now we are bz with all the pendaftaran pernikahan bg pihak bakal suami dan bakal isteri...ujian HIV dh pun dibuat..tgh tunggu borang my en tunang then baru i boleh settle kan mine...now i know betapa hectic & leceh nyer nak nikah sekarang..bnyk btol borang nak kena isi...n panjang btol prosedur perkahwinan nie yer...dasat2....paper pun alhamdullillah walaupun ia menjengkelkan bak kata my en tunang...hahahhaa....

baju untuk nikah dh pun dihantar untuk tempahan ..tailor man kajang....deposit baju nikah dh dibayar...photographer dh pun ada we decided to take my en tunang nyer fwen QZ photography we got discount for that hehehehe...best price hope all da pictures will turn out to be nice....deposit photographer dh diberi....n best part of all rantai untuk upacara batal air sembahyang dah pun dibeli a very sweet simple necklace from HABIB Jewel...dipilih oleh my en tunang and am happy with what he choose....make up i ll ask my sister BELLA to make up me again but this time i ll make sure tak terlalu putih mcm masa tunang hehehehe....sbb nak save budget nyer pasal...n hantaran serta mini dais untuk nikah of course akan direka khas oleh my big lil sister julie haslina tema merah & putih....makan n khemah akan diuruskan oleh my ayahnda....deposit dah bagi...

jadi yang tinggal adalah upacara menghabiskan duit untuk barang hantaran ...iaitu SHOPPING!!! hahhahaha...i loike dat....alhamdulillah tuhan dh murahkan rezeki kami dan insyaallah semua nyer akan berjalan dengan lancar....dh nak jadi bini org dh aku nih....pembukaan tahun baru yang menarik dengan azam dan tanggunjawab baru...cayalah!! ^_^

i love my en tunang becoz he makes me happy....and i am sure i make him happy tooo....thanks ALLAH.....

p/s: majlis bersanding kita org akan dilangsung kan lambat sikit cuti sekolah bulan 3...19 march 2011 jadi nantikan kad kawen dari saya yer....TUNGGUUUUUUU.........

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Ambrose Bierce

i am just being me...

i am me..who like to wake up early in a morning and would very much enjoy breakfast roti telor with kari ikan & teh tarik or maybe nasi lemak with kerang...with da love ones, family and fwens...spending quality time together catching up..chit chatting...sharing lousy jokes and laugh like ada aku kesah pasal org lain..^_^ jadi buat hal ko...hahhaha...

i am me...who have forgiven all those crazy maniac who doesnt know how to appreciate me....i dont care anymore ....Tuhan akan beri pembalasan yang setimpal pada kamu....so All da best to u...peace no war!! ahaks!!

i am me...who like to dance on my own when i feel like dancing...la la la la .....

i am me...who sometimes could be really super extra sensitives about life...what u said could struck me & my tears will never fail to fall....-_- emo...

i am me....the stubborn little monster that try to adapt and adjust herself in her new little world....

i would like to change i am me...for good....but it takes two to tango.....

so please have some patience with me....lets do this together.....live our life in dis present and lets get ready for the future.....it's a done deal!! mmmmwaaaaah!!!

Mind blowing... breath taking holiday ...@ KRABI

went for a short holiday to KRABI from 25/9/2010 - 28/9/2010 with my big lil sister crazy!! awesome!! chubawamba!! happenning!!!! fwen....hahahhaaa.....they r sooo fun to be with and i love them soooo much....owh mereka ini terdiri daripada mengikut turutan alphabetical order Aaron, Julie( my big lil sis), Sara,Seth,Shasha and Zack....mereka ini termasuk aku kini dikenali sebagai Travel Junkies....whereby we are looking forward for more trips tooo all da best beaches in da world....asia dulu la kot hehehehe.....our next trip for next year would be BALI....yeay!!!

this get away holiday tersangat la best!! KRABI nyer island perh wa cakap sama lu pantai dia sangat crystal clear water...pasir putih giler....so in love with KRABI.....honeymoon couple mmg jer akan menikmati percutian nih dengan tenang....rilex....kurang kesibukan kota....maybe sbb time kita org pegi nih off peak season maka rasa sangat rilex la.....tapi lau pegi ti dec maybe sangat hectic....

wutever it is....there's gonna be more trip like dis in da future....^_^..

enjoy the pictures u guys.....travel junkies!!! miss u guys....

Wedding dress design...

Since am going to Jakarta today and be spending my time with my fiance...we have decided to hunt for several things for our wedding...we would like to check out on wedding card, doorgift for VIP, accessories, and maybe checking out our wedding band there..tapi i dh ada 2 cincin maybe i nak necklace or bracelet...and most important thing would be our reception attire..my wedding dress..i am still not sure whether to custom made it ..or just rent it...tapi kalau ikot kan hati i want my own wedding dress...and i hv been browsing through da internet and came across several design dat i like and maybe would find da material from Jakarta, since there lagi cheaper kan...i dh jumpa tailor but still not sure dia leh buat ker tak..sbb dia tgh bz siapkan tempahan for hari raya right now...he is a lecturer in POLI and teaching fashion...he asked me to search for da design that i like and send da picture to him later on...before i do dat i would like to share some wedding solemnization dress and reception dress that i like with u guys...for nikah kain nya sudah dibeli jadi dat one settled oredy....^_^...

lets start with design baju nikah dat i adore...

design by SYOMIR IZWA..

Wedding dress...by PRESTIGE INUR (Jakarta) & SYOMIR IZWA





p/s: sedikit pening sbb mcm sumer lawa2....hehehhehe....perempuan biasalah kan rambang mata....

Lost focus...

after my engagement i seem to hv lost my focus on my study...which i dont like it...becoz i never been like dis before...am really into study and i love to study....now i hv few piles of assignments and presenatation dat need my attention...and i need to focus on it...everytime i plan to do my work..i ll end up thinking and planning about my wedding...i dont want to be so excited..my wedding will be my priority but i need to focus and complete my tasks oso...Oh god do help me...give strength and patience in handling all dis..my final examination will be held around 2nd week of november..and my wedding will be held on 2nd week of december...i dont like distraction and lately i am soooo lazy in doing my work..i tend procrastinate.....dis is soooo bad i need to prepare everything early....

the reason i become like dia most probably because am worried about the nikah procedure which is still not in progress because eki is at jakarta and there is nothing that can be done yet...am a bit worried because da nikah procedure seems to be tedious....one of my fwen told me dat i need to settle da documenation part of nikah 1st then ...i can proceed with planning....but how can i do that...eki will only be back maybe around october because he cant apply any leave yet now....urghhhh!!! to discuss dis thing with eki oso he dont have time he is soo bz with his report and networking analysis, pity him..he has to work till late night with less rest even when he has arrived at da guest house he still need to finish up his work until 2 or 3 o'clock...preparing everything for da next day meeting.. i dont have any heart to disturb him yet...not yet.....because he is doing dat for us...so if he can sacrifice i need to be a little bit patient right...i ll be going to Jakarta later to meet his sister and brother there...and we r going to survey a few things that is needed for our wedding later..because it is cheaper there compared to KL...and hopefully we can really discuss about da matter...

am in a dilemma...i hope god will make it a little bit easy for me and us so that we can face everything without any critical difficulties and we would be able to handle everything and find an immediate solution for all the problem that will arise later...now i need to start early in doing my presentation and assignments .....when i have time i can plan for my wedding....i need to prioritize.. i dont want too loose any precious moment in my life ......my study is important to me i dont want anything to effect my CGPA..and my wedding with eki is also important to me and us....both are my future and i dont want to regret in loosing any off it due to my uncertainty of wut need to be done first in order to achieve success and happiness....please julie dont lost focus...guys if u can give me some suggestion and recommendation i would very much appreciate it...

Am engaged paRT 2..

Family moment...

my family and my extended family soon to be...

Best Fwens Forever moment....

Diva moment....

from right: my cuzzy fifie, sara and my big lil sister ...

ader jer lagi gambar yg nak di upload tapi mcm sangat lembap kan ...susah giler neh....its ok just enjoy da pictures k....

Am engaged...^_^

8/8/2010 was da greatest day of my life... am ENGAGED!! it was like a dream...a dream dat finally come true...ALHAMDULILLAH....i woke up really early dat morning at 4 because am soo nervous....because i never met any of eki's family members...and i was soo worried about da ceremony it self....everything went well my dad and da rest of my arwah mom's family were bonded ...i like da scenario they were bonding like there was no grudge no hates...da effort shown by them during dis ceremony makes me appreciate them more..they knew dis ceremony is important for me and they want me to be happy... am suprised actually hehehhehe...and most of my best fwens were there from secondary, degree and my collegues from kuching and PD oso came...

da best part was my fiance's family ( cewah dh boleh panggil fiance ahahaaha) arrived early because they were from kuantan......so they lepak 1st before they bertandang sharp at 2pm...and everything happen so fast....i dah tak leh nak duduk diam while they were discussing about da date and everything....me upstairs tak senang duduk feeling sooo nervous sangat lawak lah my best fwen notice dat ....kelakar sangat...kejap bangun..kejap duduk....kaki bergoyang tak leh diam...kecut peyot....nak terkencing..nak terberak ....rasa nausea pun ader hahhhaa....

despite of all those feeling i am so grateful now dats everything went so well ..i love everything about my engagement ceremony...it was like wut i ve ever dreamt of before.....simple and sweeet...like marshmellow...and our solemnization day will be held on 18/12/2010 and our reception will be on 19/12/2010 ..INSYAALLAH... ^_^

now i would like to share some precious moment captured during my engagement day with u guys out there...enjoy!!!

make up moment by BELLA my sister 2nd mom daughter...

pelamin moment created by my big lil sister Julie Haslina...

tudung moment created by me....

my ayu moment..haha....

my crazy moment.....

tepon moment...

THE MOMENT....

US moment....


p/s: will post few more moment of my engagement ceremony ....sabar yer kenkawan...

FreAKing Out!!!

Guys can i ask u guys something..is it normal when da E-day is just around da corner everything seems like so scary NOW...about all da things...like am freaking out when the tailor who doing my baju tunang called a week before my engagement day saying that she misplaced the measurement for my baju....OMG!! i was like WTF!!! i ve sent da kain early JULY ok....haiyak!! luckily my baju for my E-day dah siap.. i loike it so much!!!! hehehehe yeay!!...cant wait to wear it....

everytime when am thinking about da ceromony i got da feeling of something inside my stomach like haiya!! dont know la..am soo nervous...i do look damn COOL like everthing under control but only GOD knows hehhehee...i am a PERFECTIONIST i think dat is why am freaking out.. i like to have control on every single thing ....i like it when everything happen accordingly up to my expectation but when it comes to this kind of thing i need to make an acception right...dis is making me damnnn nervous......hahhahaha...because i can plan ....but i do not have control for the flow of the ceremony...all da scary tot of what if dis happen ..what if that happen....all the what if questions came across my mind and keep on bugging me.....Eki told me everything is gonna be fine....INSYAALLAH....i dont have to be worry so much....things will be fine....

You can say dat it not u who hv to go through it....u have just to be there right after everything and foe your side pun i yang prepare kan ..CHET!! main tipu kan hahahhaha.....boleh la act real COOL like dat....huhuuhu....i hope everything will be fine....i will pray hard....Ya ALLAH mudah-mudahan majlis kami akan berjalan dengan lancar dan mendapat keberkatan dari mu ya ALLAH.....AMIN...

UpDatING blog TEMPLATE...

Aku mcm jeles kan bila kenkawan start updating their blog..aku pun haruslah berwajah baru jugak kan...hehehehehe...tapi kena ada trademark kasut tu ....i loike it...yeay!!!

Blooming precious...

Am like dreaming...i never imagine dat am going to experience dis..it is very exciting ...and am enjoying every moment of da excitement, feel like wanna jump!! jump!!! golek!! golek!! and laugh..laugh some more and smile all da time hahahha....in another 22 days am getting engage....going to be engaged to Mr. Ekiadeka Putera B. Abbas.....on 8/8/2010...ambik berkat sebelum puasa hehehhe..i ve just met him actually but da chemistry dat we have made us decide to take da chance to be together and build up a family..everything happen so fast....damn fast!! hehheehehhe...

u want to know details i ll let u know after 8/8/2010...i ll reveal all...da most important thing kenkawan mesti nak tau berapa umur dia kan...sbb my all my x bf before dis kecuali masa degree are all younger than me...but dis time around he is older than me..32 years old, very matured, caring, sweet...crazy......sangat manja and he spoiled me...aha!! dats da most important part...no lah dats da bonus part...kekekeke....i masih dalam proses planning for da engagement..everything is in a very good progress...cincin dh beli...kain utk nikah sudah...perfume sudah..hantaran n tema for both side dh decide..mine would be white and pink...eki nyer white and baby blue...

dia akan hantar 7 dulang hantaran berbalas 9 dulang hantaran dari pihak i...baju pun dh hantar tempah ujung bulan nie insyaallah siap..mini pelamin akan dibuat oleh my ucu and mysis..hantaran pun my sister yg akan buat for both side i nak fresh flower..masak la dia kena wat 16 hantaran..then make up i suh adik i belah mak tiri make up kan ...di pandai make up...photographer my cuzin akan incharged...doorgift my auntie and makngah akan sponsor...hri nie nak pg discuss ngan my dad about makanan n khemah...so far around 55% lah progress nyer...by next week i akan officially invite fwens and family datang for da engagement....

i have to do everything by myself...eki takder kat malaysia ..dia baru dapat keje kat jakarta...tapi nasib baik ada kawan2..and family members yg tolong and bg support..thank u so much.....

yeay!!! i nak bertunang.....n lau ader rezeki dan diizinkan tuhan insyaallah ijab kabul ujung tahun..tak sabar nyer...hahhahahha...

P/S: Kenkawan doakan yer utk saya...wish me all da best untuk menghadapi segala cabaran yg akan mendatang ini.............wink!! wink!! Mr.Ekiadeka Putera b Abbas i love u so much!!! thanks for making me the happiest chomel gurl on earth hahahahhaa...jump!! jump!!! golek!!! golek!!! smiling sampai ke telinga.........

Moment~

It ends easily but i wont fade away as easily as u wish it would be...

The pain will stops & the wound will heals...but the scar will always remain there...
WHICH will always be there to remind u about the moment~
sucks......

Back To SquAre One

i JUST got back from kuching after spending my 4 precious days there with my BFF jaNe John..Thanks jane for everything really appreciate it..miss u already..had fun with her doing all d things dat we both usually dId when we were still working there at Kuching...ALOT of new shocking discovery has been exposed..which during my last day there was ..am.... hurmmm..rite now i dont know how to say it and how to describe my feeling....

It is a mixture of all emotions dat expressed and potrayed a total dissapointment, it's a disaster.....i just dont believe wut i heard....i just dont believe that u r actually da meanest, heartless, idiot dumbass...i just cant believe it!! that u betray everything that u hv said and i believe that all my assumptions were right all dis while from da start...i should hv follow my instinct...my instinct wont lie and it will always be true to me..blame it on my myself hahha..padan muka...

of all da women on dis entire universe u choose her...u love her? or should i say u lust her? well when u want it u will get it from her right....suka kan... anywhere u want it to be ..sooooOOO have fun then..hopefully she will changed and really can let go her past one day and u gonna be da one for her......she da cold hearted bitch who is desperate for attention from all da guys dat she can lay her hands on and u dont mind bout it..perfect match u guys are meant for each other.so all da best to u...

man really likes bitch kan..HAIYA!! why yer? they know how to work it OUT..all inside and OUT...

last nite i end up experincing again da PMS moment which made me feel like a LOSER and am in hell ..mcm bangang jer all tears can easily keluar witout permission they just know it kan when time comes they will make their special appearance and make u feel miserable ...but da very next morning i know dat am just being emotional... and i actually know that i can face everything and anything IN FRONT of me easily...wink!! wink!! at least am not married to him yet...nak sedapkan rasa hati kan...but am glad it doesnt happen...if not sure dh divorce hehehhe...

so now am good to go....i am done with all dis crap which has been bothering me for quite sometime..and am gonna say good bye to all dis shit..~THE END~

now am back to square one....

Make up

Beauty is something that is subjective...for me beauty can be defined through something that can be created, adjusted, covered and blended....it's applicable but not everyone can do it...I have encounter a new hobby nowdays..during my school days in primary and secondary school even up until my matriculation years...i can be considered as "buta fashion" and i am not up to date kind of person..never wear any make up and i dont fancy feminity..i only use bedak johnson and jonhson jer kot as far as i could remember..i am not feminin at all..trust me my sense of fashion was totally out dated and sucks hahahha...i envy those who are beautiful and have a good sense in fashion ..

Back then i am not confident with my apprearance ...i dont care about it...but later on there is a slight changed..it is maybe because of the influnce from my fwens ...they look good and seems to be more confident when they apply make up...and i myself start trying and experimenting we exchanged tips, lipstick and mascara, even blusher (nurul was the one who has everything and i ....not only me i believe...we..hahhaha always borrowed her make up )...i bought jonhson and johnson compact powder but i still use white one instead of natural color...i wore red lipstick or sometimes brown...and dats it....when i look back at d old pictures i will surely laugh like hell ..i looked so fierce ...but as time past by i read alot about make up..the basic necessity in applying make and etc...as i start working..i was like soooo crazy in buying all kind of make up supplies dat i can get in the market..trial and error..the 1st expensive make up ever dat i bought was estee lauder make up set worth RM600 ...there goes my money hahahha....but its ok it was my first salary of 3 months tunggakkan so no big deal hehehhe...

As time past by i able to learn 2 or more make up tricks and tips..i like natural make up application...with a little touch up of highlite and bronzer WALAH!! my face GLOW.. Some of my family members start to ask me to make up for them and my BFF asked me to make up her, for her engagement.. i was nervous and flattered ...since then i told myself dat one day i would like to be a professional..and now since i have plenty of time...

I plan to attend a make up worksyop in JAKARTA..i know i can do it here in KL...i ve search for few available worksyop one of it conducted by IAN SHAM one of the well established malaysian make up artist...2 days worksyop will cost me about RM500-RM600 only...

Actually i want to get away for vacation so might as well i just go straight to JAKARTA rite...hehehe and i can really learn good make up tips and tricks from there...u guys know rite how beautiful indonesian women can be when their make up artist make up them...even i can fall in love with them...hey..hey dont get me wrong i am not lesbian...i just love beauty OK..hahaha..

Now i am so into BOBBI BROWN..i ve bought few basic BOBBI BROWN make up kit and supplies and i bought BOBBI BROWN makeup Manual ..an i am in a quest to master the skill of make up...wish me luck guys....i just want to try out....

My uncle is pursuing his business in dis wedding event management kind of thing..he loves pelamin so much..my sister is into hantaran thing..and becoming a wedding planner for her fwen who is gonna get married next month...and me i like make up ....i can be their make up artist hehehhehe....wasnt it great...^_^

this picture was taken during my cousin engagement early APRIL..

This one was during my BFF engagement i think it was in 2008 i believe...i did d hair also penat tuh...hehehehehe...enjoy it guys....

tantek tak? tantek kan.....sgt sweet...

P/S: if u guys ader any contact no about any make up worksyop do let me know k....even any interesting website about make up dat u guys know i am hoping dat u guys can share with me also..lots of love ~JULES~

u know wut...

i know i ve change alot..i know dat i am not like before..its something dat i choose to be rite now..i know people concerned about me so much but please dont feel sorry for me..because when you guys do dat it really hurts...i know ur intention is good and because u guys care about me i dont have doubt bout it..but it doesnt make me feel better..so please stop and let me do wut ever i want to do....i just want to be MYSELF rite now this is me ..have some respect please...if u want to talk about me behind my back go ahead.. i dont care because it's my LIFE...not urs....
care about ur own LIFE la dude...not others....WTF!!! u dont really know wut happen to me so dont judge n dont pretend like u r great..u r happy, superior OR better than me because ur r obviously not O.K....and u know wuts missing in ur LIFE...fix urs first .....duhhhhh!!!!

i wont...

SOME DAY YOU WILL CRY FOR ME ;
like i cried for you...
SOMEDAY YOU WILL MISS ME;
like i missed you...
SOMEDAY YOU WILL NEED ME;
like i needed you...
SOMEDAY YOU WILL LOVE ME;
but i wont love you anymore.........

DEJAVU...

dah terlalu lama since last post...way back when i am still with him...we break off in a good way after a real devastating moment between me and him...am in pain and he was lost...i was hoping that things would be like before but after spending my time with him for about 2 weeks i realized he was not meant for me anymore...we fought, we cursed, we hated each other so much at that time...when am with him i felt lonely..because he was not with me..he is in his own world the more i tried the more complicated things were...

when i decided to move on, i loose him...and am in pain...i still remember i ve decided to let him go when he sent me his last FB mail ...and i realized it is time for me to let him fly away...we did not communicate, we just knew we should end it..so it ends without say...it just END..i try to be strong but i cried the whole night thinking why does dis have to happen to me again ....and again...and again...i am just tired with all dis...

now it has been 2 months ..i felt sad n missing him like crazy..i did acknowledge him in his FB..do chat with him once or twice asking how he was but later on i realized that he is not mine anymore so i tried to hold everything back, all da feeling and emotion need to be ended A.S.A.P.....so i decided to block his FB..because i dont want to know what is happening to him..i dont want to know with who he is now..i just dont want to care...i changed my hp no...i force myself to forget him...because he hurts me..i harap tuhan akan beri pembalasan yang setimpal dekat dia...i taknak simpan dendam, itu urusan dia dengan tuhan...only god knows apa yg dia dh buat kat i...

i am strong ...i know but all da memories dat i hAD when am with him keep on bugging me.. i would like to erase it but i cant..iT will takes time and i wish ada software yg boleh delete unwanted memories dalam brain ni ha...i wish.....

BUT STILL i cant lie ..i cant avoid this feeling...and i cant deny...i still love him ....i am ....he is still in my heart.. i realize it is pathetic but that is what i feel.....we had something before and i cant just erase u that easy from my mind and my heart.....

ANUGERAH PERKHIDMATAN CEMERLANG...

ALHAMDULILLAH...syukur...dats all dat i can say...am smiling in my heart and feel very thankful with da gift dats ALLAH gave me...iTS a MARVELOUS year for me...thankS to everyone ....who trust me and who appreciate my work and my enthusiasm in the thing dat i work on...i received a pierre cardin ball pen....cert.....and u know wut rite....hehehe... during da ceremony i was glad to meet some old fwens...Norsaliza Osman n Sharifah Fadiah...i cried when i saw za....lama giler tak jumpa dia...she never change....still da same ...she has 2 great sons and a loving husband teaching at Politeknik Dungun, While pah still not married sama lah kita kan hehehhehhe....Pah, selalu jer jumpa usually masa course la....she is working at Politeknik Merlimau Melaka...


WE R GOVERMENT'S PROPERTy....HAHHAHAHA ..wutever it is aM Glad to be Malaysian....and am done with working..sila cepat sikit i want to study plak...guys come n join me. am waiting for u guys...did i told u guys am going to further my study in guidance and counseling yer...wanna be a councelor plak...boleh? hehehe I know i can be what ever i wanna be...with da will and determination i know i can succeed..AMIN..