DEJAVU...

dah terlalu lama since last post...way back when i am still with him...we break off in a good way after a real devastating moment between me and him...am in pain and he was lost...i was hoping that things would be like before but after spending my time with him for about 2 weeks i realized he was not meant for me anymore...we fought, we cursed, we hated each other so much at that time...when am with him i felt lonely..because he was not with me..he is in his own world the more i tried the more complicated things were...

when i decided to move on, i loose him...and am in pain...i still remember i ve decided to let him go when he sent me his last FB mail ...and i realized it is time for me to let him fly away...we did not communicate, we just knew we should end it..so it ends without say...it just END..i try to be strong but i cried the whole night thinking why does dis have to happen to me again ....and again...and again...i am just tired with all dis...

now it has been 2 months ..i felt sad n missing him like crazy..i did acknowledge him in his FB..do chat with him once or twice asking how he was but later on i realized that he is not mine anymore so i tried to hold everything back, all da feeling and emotion need to be ended A.S.A.P.....so i decided to block his FB..because i dont want to know what is happening to him..i dont want to know with who he is now..i just dont want to care...i changed my hp no...i force myself to forget him...because he hurts me..i harap tuhan akan beri pembalasan yang setimpal dekat dia...i taknak simpan dendam, itu urusan dia dengan tuhan...only god knows apa yg dia dh buat kat i...

i am strong ...i know but all da memories dat i hAD when am with him keep on bugging me.. i would like to erase it but i cant..iT will takes time and i wish ada software yg boleh delete unwanted memories dalam brain ni ha...i wish.....

BUT STILL i cant lie ..i cant avoid this feeling...and i cant deny...i still love him ....i am ....he is still in my heart.. i realize it is pathetic but that is what i feel.....we had something before and i cant just erase u that easy from my mind and my heart.....